Life as it is

Life as it is, is beautiful even more with its imperfection.

There is no life without death, no joy without sorrow, no rainbow without rain, no grow without pain.

Life is where you appreciate the most when it seems hard but with all the little things that you choose to give thanks to.

Life is when you think there's no hope, but there is. Its all down to how you see it and who you choose to put your faith in.

My faith is in my Lord and Life as it is, is imperfectly beautiful.

Hope

 

 Love



Strength

Start again

I've done the first

I'll make sure I don't do the second

Start again Isabel

Start again =)

Breathe again

Juwita Suwito - Breathe again

Have you wondered how it feels when it's all over

Wondered how it feels when you just have to start anew
Never knowing where you're going
When you face a brand new day
It used to be that way
Now I just close my eyes and say

I just want to breathe again
Learn to face the joy and pain
Discover how to laugh a little , cry a little
Live a little more
I just wanna face the day
Forget about the woes of yesterday
Maybe if I hope a little Try a little more
I'll breathe again

Starting out again is never easy
Disappointments come and go but life still moves on
With a bit of luck It's a brand new start
That might just work my way
No need to walk away
Don't want to live on life replay

Things will work out fine
If you can find the courage to look past the night
To see the break of dawn

Its a NEW year =)

Its officially 2012 2 days and an hour ago and it'll be a NEW year for me, not ordinary new year but a year where I'll be finally working permanently and its literally my first job ever. It is not just any ordinary job but such a huge responsibility for a first job to be. I'll be teaching in a private secondary school as a science teacher. It is not going to be easy. From the teacher tutorial classes i had for the past days, I, who have never teach nor ever had any education lessons before is expected to not just teach them knowledge but at the same time, be the students mentor, counsellor and life direction guider. The new teachers also reminded that the students are fragile (so you can't yell at them or scold them with harsh words), and that they're constantly seeking for attention (the reason being they've little attention from their busy working parents) and they have very very protective parents (make sure you always do the right thing so even if the parents come unreasonable, you can still stand on your ground). So my new year resolution is gonna be simple:

To rely on God's strength on everything I do in my life in accordance to his plan for me and to learn how to be in another person's shoes so that I can be compassion, with love, care and patience when it comes in building relationships with other people.

The idea to think on the other person's behalf came in years ago (constantly being reminded by friends around me) but I ignored them. For example, when there's this person who is cynical about life, I'll judge him/her quickly without much thought about it. The reason being I, myself had experienced a lot since my mum passed away 2.5 years ago and I learnt a lot about life itself and I just don't quite understand how could someone not appreciate life as it is. In 2 more days, I'll be facing students from different backgrounds and I knew having this thought with me will not help me and my students. Everyone will come to such realization about life but perhaps its not their time yet. Its a new year and this change is necessary. I just hope that I've enough love, care and patience to bring me through this year of teaching while I am at the same time learning how to teach effectively, how to build up relationships with all kinds of students and parents, and how to work with other teachers. It can only be done with God by my side. A new year brings new hope as a closure to the year before where the past is past. Happy new year to all my friends!

This is funny. Just sharing =)

An appreciation gift from DCA :)

AAT

#1. Air traffic control

#2. Radar

#3. Radar scan map

#4. PSR Transmitter

#5. The view from radar site up on hill

#6. ATT office

#7. The fire fighters--CO2 gas

#8. The radar equipment room

#9. our chief ME from Italy--Marco

Learning never ends...

So last week, i was asked to stay around DCA office to get to know ITs function and organisation better. DCA has 2 major division which is the administration and finance department and the ATCC (Air Traffic Control Central). Each of these divisions has its sub units with different specific functions. For example, ATCC can be divide into units such as: control tower (aerodrome and surface movement), aeronautical information service, AAT (advance air traffic system), flight information service, training, search and rescue, area control and approach.

This week, i was assigned to AAT and i'll be there for another 2.5 months. So basically, we do radar & systems maintenance (sounded like a guy's job and yes, all 5 engineers in AAT are guys but yet the supervisor and manager are both female, lol). Everything related to the system of the radar are in our job scope and that includes fixing printer and telephone lines, radar site and tower cleaning (outsiders are strictly prohibited, the systems are expensive and it has to be function all the time, 24-7, so we can't bare the consequences of any shut down or disrupt of system to happen, which at worst, crashes between airplanes), backup data for radar detection and voice file between controller and pilot. But still, our main job is to keep the radar and related systems functioning all the time. So the engineers working here take shifts (sometimes they called themselves kuli or higher class technician which i find it quite true, what to do, Malaysia has limited resources and efficient manpower, all the best candidates had flee from the country).

New facts: #1. Radar detection is use not only for planes but the data obtained also includes the density of clouds, which will later be used for weather forecast and it helps the controller to keep the pilot update with the current weather condition. #2. There's 2 radar used in a system, which is PSR (Primary Surveillance Radar-for planes within 60 mile nautical and without transponder) and SSR (Secondary Surveillance Radar-for detection of planes with transponder and of range 200 mile nautical). #3. The radar system used in civil aviation is from Italy. I always thought Italy is an artistic place with painters and poets but apparently they produces high technology radar systems too. lol. and the software engineer based in AAT is hot, seriously.

Work is still fun so far. Learning new things keep me excited. I know, i sounded exactly like a nerd now. xp Hopefully i will make more use of myself in coming weeks. The 1st week so far has only been the honeymoon period. I heard we'll be real busy at the end of the month. till then =)

A new Phase of Life =)

Blogging from work, my 1st job ever, not exactly a proper job yet. I'm serving 3 months of industrial training at DCA (Department of Civil Aviation). So far so COOL. And here is why:

1) There is a bunch of funny and friendly people work here who call themselves a family

2) every wed and fri lunch breaks are karaoke session as well. So they actually have a karaoke room here and they sing well, like really =D

3) 3.30pm is "Minum" time, music will be on and you can smell coffee every corner in the office, once we even got someone "belanja" us roti canai ^^

4) People here never silent their phone which i find it amusing, in a good way. But of course i still keep my phone silent all the time.

5) Learning interesting facts about civil aviation (from Civil Aviation Acts 1969 and Rules and Regulations of civil aviation 1996). Do you know that we charged all airplanes that flew above our territory and military planes are not allow in commercial routes. How we know then? We have a radar that senses and a system that records down every detail of the planes flew by: weight, model, airways, operator...).

Overall, i like work, being productive (which i'm not yet doing anything such), but waking up 6 in the morning is definitely no fun. I'll get used to it over time, hopefully. Have a great day ahead peeps! =D

A Note

I always not know what i want, or perhaps i never really wanted anything

Life is always helpless, i know it when i was first informed that mum got cancer

I try hard to not cry in front of people, but i'm a sensitive person deep down

Keeping secrets are very hard for me, that's why i gave up my dream of being a psychologist

Eating makes me happy, only come second after sleeping

You never know what will happen in life, and things are never absolute

Sometimes you just have to risk it, and being positive with all things

keep going on, with hope, with faith, with God and i believe i'll make changes to life, and people around me

On THE Highway =)

Life has been pretty good to me. Everything is on track, VIVA ended well, thesis in final edit before i got to finally put it into a book, i got my internship at KK International Airport and i got to take my German proficiency test which was 1st scheduled on 15th May but later changed to a more convenient date to me. And i believe all in all, its GOD who make all of these working on track. I couldn't ask for more in life and i could never thank enough for all of it.

Just a little fear about the future, but at the same very excited about what's coming too. I know its time for me to go on my Highway, a new phase in life, more experience with HIM and i believe i'll just have to live up every moment with no regrets. BUT, i'll miss my friends, i really do. yet, i know this has to happen, for the transition in life. And i'll keep the good memories with me whenever i go. For everyone of them are important to me, they changes me and make me who am i now. All the best my friends. We shall see again, someday =)

"I am a Christian"

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say that 'I am a Christian', I am not shouting that 'I am clean living. I'm whispering 'I was lost, but now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect. My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow!

I read this again and still it struck me, every time, no fail. Christians are nothing superior, we're human, we do mistakes and sometimes felt like the whole world has abandoned us. But what makes us different is we'll stand up after the falls and know who we can turn to, for comfort, peace and guidance. Thank you LORD for your love, patience and your promises that you'll always be there for us. =) have a great day ahead peeps!

GG = Graduation Goodbyes

It’s closing to an end of my university life. I’m never good with goodbyes, it’s so painful that it felt like I’ve lost a part of me, being forcefully tear apart of. Remember the time where I decided to terminate my studies here and go back home for good, I cried, everyday, for the people I dear so much but yet have to leave without graduating together. But graduating together doesn’t cause any less pain. Not so much of regrets but the thought that we’ll not meet each other as often or probably never in our lives burns in my head. I’m happy that I was once here, had great years with awesome people I treasure lifetime. Those memories will keep me going on to the next phase of my life. Now, I just have to figure out how to say goodbyes without tears and sad faces =(

Gadoh

The movie Gadoh is a story plotted in a school where there's a group of Chinese students always fighting with another group of Malay students with an Indian student stuck in between the war. It has been quite an issue brought up by the local newspaper, hence the principal and Teacher Ann decided to establish a club theater with the students involved in fighting compulsory to join. This is for the purpose that the students will learn how to live together and learn together. And it ends with all students became good friends.

I've always in my comfort zone and never realised i'm actually inside of it. Sabah, the place i was born is a great place. With people live together in harmony. Racism never once occur to me, until i was here. Exposed to the racist issues in Semenanjung Malaysia. Of course you seldom see people condemn each other with nicknames of "cina babi" or what but somehow i saw the divisions myself. And that's already the foundation for being racist. I feel the pain God felt when he saw his beloved children having prejudices with each other. And i know there's something He wants me to do for this nation. Maybe start with myself going out to influence my friends. I've been ignorant for a long time and God, i'm sorry for my ignorance. Lord, I'm thankful for the eye open opportunity you've brought me here, and the love i felt for your nation, for my nation. In Jesus name, Amen.

JOY of Loving Jesus

"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." John 15:11

You can be happy, when you enjoy good food, fellowship with friends, entertainment, hanging outs but you'll never get JOY from any of these. JOY is something much more greater than happy, it fills your heart like never before, and I only experienced it with God, the Abba Father i love, not because of anything, but HE's God, my Father, my Saviour, my Friend and i couldn't imagine days without Him.

"Loving Jesus is not an escape from life, nor is it a brief encounter on some monastic retreat. It's the JOY of staying in touch and the pleasure of knowing that regardless of what a day may bring, the best day is still to come." -Perkeb daily devotional material-

*read Joy's blog and i'm touched and regenerated again with His LOVE and JOY. Thank you Lord for Everything, for the hope i can hold on everyday, for the faith that holds me through those tough days and for the peace i experienced whenever i felt your presence. I love you, Lord.

John 5: 16-47

Its about Jesus respond to the Jews who tried to persecute him. 2 things i learned of:

1. 30: ....I seek not to please myself but Him who sent me.

• I always find its hard for me to share the Gospel with my friends, and this verse reminded me that i do it for God, to seek his Please, not myself nor the people around me. =)

2. 37-38: ....You have never heard His voice nor seen His form, now does His word dwell in you, for you do not believe the one he sent.

• I hope i have the guts to answer this when certain people condemn Jesus. Its very true that if you don't believe The Father, you'll never believe The Son. Its really not a question to be argue about for I know, and I believe in God, and who doesn't believe will never make a sense out of it.

Its been a long time since i really read the bible and meditate on His words. But thank God for the people He placed around me, who constantly remind me about reading His words. Nernny said: "Persepuluhan bukan sahaja kewangan tetapi juga masa untuk Tuhan". Its very true and it hits me so much. Lord, its a lie for me to say i give you myself when i did not even spend enough time with you. I'm sorry Lord. I'll start to make a change. Help me at times i'm weak. Equip me with perseverance and patient. With Jesus name i pray, Amen.

CNY 2011

I'm supposed to study for tomorrow's "Electromagnet Field" mid semester exam but i needed a break, so i decided to blog about my CNY. This year is such a short break but i enjoyed it nonetheless. Oh, and i got some CNY cards too, as below:

#1 Such a cute card from Danial, even with my name written in Chinese. Not too bad for a person who took Chinese class for a few weeks. xp

#2 From Joann, she's such a sweetie, this even comes with a souvenir from Korea and a letter =D

close up of the card above *love*

#3 an unexpected one from my junior, Chia Ying. thanks alot! xoxo

Some moments with family. Noted the puzzle i bought for my youngest sister.

In our favorite Japanese restaurant

My must try dish at the restaurant, couldn't remember the name but its superb nice!

I found this in Asia City Mall at KK. lol...

Simple reunion dinner with family. First time out hunting for roasted meat and duck with sister. Its tough as everyone has already ordered days earlier. But still we managed to get some =)

CNY other than food and Ang Pau, its also a great time to catch up with friends and relatives which you rarely meet nowadays.

With Grandma

Cousins

Day 2: cousin emman

Day 2: church gang

Day 3: Lasallians

Ang Pau hunt with Coursemates

Before i realised, its already the end of my semester break. I'll miss KK so much and the last meal before i left kk:

Its just an ordinary Chinese shop you can get in KK. But what makes it inordinary is there's a Muslim stall too in the same shop where non halal food is served. With Muslim and non Muslims eating on the same table. I was touched for a moment. Its very common in KK and i never noticed what an awesome place i'm in until i was far away from KK where such scenes are inordinary. I really love KK and the people here. Before CNY ends in another 2 days:

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL MY FRIENDS

WHETHER YOU'RE CHINESE OR NOT =D

So much things, So little time

There no lay back after CNY break with all things need to be done according to schedule, of internship applications, thesis, mid semester exams and assignments. I wish i have more time, to spend with my friends, friends that i'm glad i met, friends that i treasured lifetime, friends that came and left but leave footprints in life and changes me in way that i might not noticed.

Its the last semester and i want to do things the best, unlike other "try my best and whatever comes whatever it'll be" semesters. But what people used to say: "The bigger the expectation, The greater the disappointment." And its very true. With those disappointments, i experienced God more and the importance of friends around me. Thus, i appreciate life more.

So its not going to be the best semester, now i know. But i'm gonna make it a memorable last semester. Lets see how it goes. Can't wait for where God is leading me to. I love you, God. I love you, my friends. Happy belated Valentines day too people! =D

i love my new nerdy spectacles :)

happy Chinese new year! :)

Foreseen to be an awesome week

Just back from prayer walk and i enjoyed it. Sometimes its so amaze that how God works, like how it rained heavily at 3 something while it stopped during our prayer walk session between 4.30-6pm and later rains again at 6 something where we're safe and sound, enjoying our dinner at KDO cafe and later stops again while we're out to wait for bus. The cooling weather is great for some walk, to burn off calories from yesterday heavy meals. Oh, we had Yuen Buffet Steamboat for dinner at Subang Jaya. Regardless of the going around, lost, finding a way out from some place we can't even name of. All is good. I enjoyed our committee fellowship. For snacks, there's Japanese Matcha ice cream, Cupcake Chic and Haagen Dazs for the birthday girl (GEORGIE) and Ninja Joe's PORK BURGER ( and its super SEDAP wer with the juicy home made patty!!) lol...

Pictures i got from internet

The Big Boss *slurps*

And i always believe God put the hard times in my life to taught me lessons of patient, faith and love. Things were much more better after i surrendered all in His hands. Its only the first day of the week and i'm already excited of what's coming, and i know and i believe it'll be a great week ahead! Love you God =D

Trust ME

"Trust me, for I am your Lord."

Its only four days and it felt like a long week to me. A lot of things happened, i was suppose to get the proposal for PERKEB meetings done by this week but by Wednesday, I was informed that no one will be signing any approval for proposal for these 2 weeks as things were messed up between PPP and JPPEL. It struck me real hard and i was very disappointed. But still i made an effort to go through other authorities to see what i can do to at least get a temporary place for meeting (without meeting approval, we're not suppose to get any place) but Adeilyn managed to get a room at FSSK (thank God).

But of course, problem does not stops there. We still need to get through the proposal for the other meetings in the whole semester. So, the JPPEL staff advices that i shall get another proposal and hand in to JPPEL. And so that's what i did, and God sent an angel to speak to me =)

Prof. Wan is our PERKEB advisor and i met him to get his signature for the new proposal. He told me he has a tight schedule for that day but yet he spent 45 minutes sharing to me about his experience with God, encourage me with God's word and welcome me to see him if i need someone to talk to. And i pretty sure that i did not say anything about my bad day but yet everything he shared hit me so much that i almost tear.

One of the story about one of the semester back when he still studies in UKM. The proposal was approved but with condition that they're not allow to worship during meetings. But they never give up, instead used the worship session for prayers. At the end of the semester, they had MK and surprisingly 3000+ people showed up. He said:

NEVER LIMIT GOD!

And only then i realised how little faith i have in God. How can i let my doubts take over me without I notice it? I guess things happened in life planted this super low confident in me which i almost have no expectation in things in life. Like how i never really desperately ask for something and the one thing i ever asked (for mum) is not answered. I always thought i'm fine with God, until now. Thank you Lord for never fails asking me to come back to you, things in life and people around me to constantly remind me about your great love and mightiness and the most important thing is, you never give up on me. I'm just too stupid sometimes to realise how lucky and honour i am to even know you, How i'm blessed beyond measures to even be counted or jotted down of. And i know you chose me for your ministry for a reason, a plan. I now, lay in front of you my obedient and faithfulness. Lord, use me for the glory of your kingdom. Strengthen me in times i'm weak. My life is yours, my Lord. Amen.