19 August 2009
But that doesn't mean im free now, have to catch up with classes i've missed out, mid sems, lab reports, assignments/projects and also time to spend with friends ^^
Just a list of what i've done this half semester:
1) train debate juniors
2) being DCA (deputy chief adjudicator) for Vice-Canselor inter-college debate competition
3) 1 of the adjudicator for VC cup final
4) perform for New Tune Introduction Night
5) Organise Faculty night and also MC of the night
and again, i put myself in another mess...the same old history repeats like last sem, i put myself into this hectic life and hence the consequences to bare.....
MY RESULT FOR MID SEMS SUCKX!
(ok, i didn't meant to say bad words but it just a kind of release of depression, do bare with me since i can't find another words that suits more...*in blurry mind state*)
hopefully i still can cover back the marks with final...*worrying*
(*praying that final questions will not be tough*)
ok, just some words to pour out and now i should back to my work (with 4 reports, 1 assignment, 2 projects to hand up in this week)
.....*continue my "lab-reporting"*......
03 August 2009
Make an example: kids love sweets and everytime they get one, they'll be happy for the whole day and yet grown ups never satisfied for what they have. someone who had iphone will wanted a Blackberry, someone who had Honda will wanted Ferrari and hence life always seems to be imperfect as the standard of being perfect is always set higher and higher.
Example 2: Kids were actually more aggresive. i always remember i cried alot until i get what i want (a toy or chocolates). but when i grow up, i always concern about how people look at me and hence i hesitate in making decisions. As result, things never been done and when i looked back, i realise i missed out alot of fun and chances/oppurtunity that i never grab onto.
Example 3: kids laugh alot and they cried alot too. They always show out their true expression which grown ups don't. They're being hiprocrit which they blame it to people around them and claim that its the only way to survive in the society. and i wonder, aren't any of these are inform choices? We're humans and we control our own emotions don't we?
Sometimes i get confuse with life, how i wish im still the little kid i used to be, naive and always optimistic with life but yet things changed and i wonder should i change myself to suit the so called "society life" or should i just remain who i am and yet satisfied with life?
16 June 2009
its so painful that u felt like crying but tears just couldn't seems to roll down because you know you'll will make the one feel more miserable
trying to tell jokes to make the one feel better but yet it feels like someone was using a knife stabbing into your heart with yourself holding your breath, worrying you'll burst out in tears in the next second
its so helpless that you start to thinking of running away and yet you can't even move a step
sometimes i wonder, why its me and why its her?
but i know god let things happen for a reason
i never ask god for more but for this first and only time, i wish god will take away all the pain and sickness from her...
and i have no other way but to believe in "him" as he's the way, the truth and the life
in jesus name i pray, Amen
*anyone who read this and know what happened, please pray for us
28 April 2009
location: msn chatroom
mode: in the midst of sleepless and emo-ing...
Lemon: How are you?
Lemon: How's exam?
BeL: 3 more to go...blah....blah...
BeL: blah...blah...blah...(something about why im emo-ing at the mid of night)
BeL: it's hard to tell...
Lemon: and why u choose to tell me?
BeL: sure lahhh, buddy mah...
BeL: hey, u're acting weird today lehhhh....
Lemon: o0yar, how's between you and "him"?
BeL: how u know? *gasping on my own* i didnt tell u that? *hmm...did i?*
Lemon: we're in the same kok what?!
BeL: *check for the mail address* *ARGH!! SCREAMING AND YELLING SILENTLY!!*
guess what happened? yes...it's not the person i thought it was...argh...stupid me, i even shared my deepest emoness to "him" which i suppose to be another "him" >< i know its confused, either i am...
moral value of story: always check the mail address before u chat with someone to double check the identification...
26 April 2009
"Do You Have A bf?"
And as a companion for the answer "NO", or "Never have one"
Ya rght, i wish i could know why *wondering...hmm...*
but anyway, i just sort of like list out some reasons why i never have a bf, or why guys at the first place wouldn't even fall into me.
1) my height, actually im not that tall, maybe slightly tall, 170cm wasn't that tall afterall, right? agree? (i know my friends who's reading this now would be probably diasgreeing, sigh
><) anyway, guys used to said, isabel, its presurrised by just standing next to you, or things like, yeah, im TALLER than isabel ><
3) Independent, isabel's all time theory--why girls cant do things guys can, and i always argue this with my guys friend and they would just pissed off after a long "debate" and would said, can't u be just more "girl" like how u should have? >< discrimination k? guys egoness =P
4) "CHUMAN", now that's a new word, haha...its actually a name of our friend (chuman-dev) which they later translate it as "reaction as slow as a pig"? WT...anyway, why i would said so? let's see the difference between a guy's conversation with a girl and isabel:
guy: are you hungry? (which they actually means having a lunch date ><, guys, be straight forward la~)
normal girl: no, im starving, if its your treat, i wouldn't mind us having a lunch together ^^ (with a sweet shy glimpse)
isabel: no, i've just ate, arent u eaten? i can recommend u some nice eatery shops =)
There's actually more to be written of but im sort of tired today, after late night study until 1am which i woke up early this morning at 7am for my eletric and magnet exam n later whole day discussion on TITAS with my coursemates (=.=) anyway, i might continue this on "Reasons why i never have a BF-part 2" whenever im free =P till then ^^
24 April 2009
- honorific word of Taku (home)
- extremely negative in meaning as it is used to refer to someone who stays at home all the time and doesn't have a life (no social life, no love life, etc)
- Usually an otaku person has nothing better to do with their life so they pass the time by watching anime, playing videogames, surfing the internet (otaku is also used to refer to a nerd/hacker/programmer)
Am i an OTAKU?
maybe i am anyway, my friends usually get bored when i started to talk about debate issues like recession, election of obama, israel-palestin war n ect...
and i just realised that i even read books on politics and philosophy ><>
as well the thing that i facebook-ing for the whole day
--> conclusion, im an OTAKU~
but i enjoy being what i am, compared to the previous me who don't even know what is ISA and how many states in USA, i prefer the recent me =) yet i know im never good enough, must read up more on news (which im always lazy to do so) and as well do alot alot of research and compiling!
now the question comes, am i a debate material? speaking english fluently doesnt mean you're a good debater and i knew since the first day i join UKM debate team, but i really like spending time with the debaters, to just randomly talk about current issues and have arguements all the time (even just on stuffs like food, kev's bimbo-ness or john's accent ><)
but somehow, i cant really debate:
1) im not confidence enough
2)always struggle for words to say
3)and the fact that my issue knowledge at the "ground" level
hence that's why i always reject when they ask whether i want to join any debate tounaments but a member of debate team who never debate? nah...
conclusion, none for today, its just some feelings i wanted to express, ok, back to my revision for electricity and magnetism and as well calculus (><) good luck in finals too everyone ^^
Argh, Haagen-Dazs, the food in mind now
My Best Pal in UKM, we do looks alike huh?
and Hence, that's my life recently, non-other than study-->eat-->study-->sleep (><) cant wait until exam ends~!!! anyway, genting trip with coursemates on 3rd-4th may...anyone want to join?? =P
23 April 2009
Recently, i was struggle with a decision, to either continue my study at ukm or transfer back to ums and start everything all over again as a 1st year. Some might already know that it's for my mum, she's sick and i wish i could just spend more time with her and be there for her through the hard times. It's tough, but after sort of discuss with my family, they think i should continue my study at ukm. And here is the "concentrated" conversation between us:
Mum: The fact that im sick wouldn't changed, so what's the point of wasting another year of
Dad: You do no help here, just have faith and pray (am i really that useless?) ><
Sis: huh? why?? its there any difference?
and hence, the decision is to continue study at ukm. I actually agree with that, i can see that they're more mature now, and if i keep on insisiting to study at ums, its like im the bragging little kid and they're like:"come on, face the reality, dont be such a little kid~" maybe im just not tough enough, maybe im just over worried, or maybe i miss them too much but by seeing my sister to be so independent and even help out in sending the youngers to tuition and school, and mum who always been so tough even when she's suffering from sickness and side effect from treatment, and dad who's always been supportive and take good care of the whole family, im just so proud of them. In return, i know i should not hesitate anymore, what i could do is study hard and get good results to make them proud of me!
There's always up and downs in life, and the downs is just to make us stronger, for god wants us to realise how sweet is his grace and to know that human is just too fragile while god is the only one we should rely on. From all i experienced, i appreciate life more, to be grateful of breathing in the early morning, to be thankful for every moment of laughter and fun spent with friends and family and i guess that's life. It doesnt meant to be perfect so just live life the fullest everyone =)