him =)

we used to do nothing but just talk in car for hours, with sea breeze in smell and sound of ocean waves patting on rocks in ears

We used to ride on bike with me hold tight over his waist and he patting on my head while i'm sharing my sad moments

We used to watch starry night at the port and me refused to lie on the ground like he does

We used to have romantic dinner with violinist playing and decorated surrounding of roses and pink heart shape balloons

We used to drive around the night streets of kk for no reason with my hand on the gear lever and his on top of mine

We used to argue, mostly about my doubt of his love and he answered:" Never have doubts, you're not me and i know myself well, that i like you. If this is not love, I had never liked a girl."

All these moments where i thought i had forgotten but now, they are still clear in my mind and replay at nights where i could not fall asleep. It has been a year and he has move on, so should i. wish him all the best =)

The Sleepy Post...

I am sleepy, 4 hours after i woke up from my long 12 hours sleep at 12 noon. Its so sleepy that i need to focus all my strength to not having my eye lids close at the next second. Haven't been sick for quite a long time, still getting use with my dripping nose, humming ears and drained-always -thirsty-throat. Knowing sleeping too much wasn't good, i decide to blog. But yet thoughts just stuck in mind and couldn't be spilled.

So just some random, non making sense thoughts of mine. 1st, my sis finally entered university =D i'm so so proud of her, have the feeling like any mom has, like their baby daughter is going for another level in life but of course she's my little sis, the one that i had been anticipating in her life for 20 years, hope that she will continue to be happy and achieve what she wants in life =)

2nd, i'm still single and people around me keep on nudging me to get one, like usual. But still, i think i'm not up for one now. I've too many stuff on, family, university clubs, study and my own self-discovery on what i should do after i graduate. But deep inside, i might have this little hope of getting someone who is able to be there for me whenever i need, yet not big enough for my sensible brain to put that as one of my priorities.

3rd, i'm kinda excited for new juniors to come in. I can't really understand why i have this feeling now but the thing that i'm officially the most highest status senior make me thrill. But of course, i'm still a good senior, no thoughts of bully juniors at all. Just the sense of seniority makes me proud and of course exclude the part i'm elder xp

So, another random post, totally different from what i thought a year waiting post should be but i'm not in the mood for the revealing truth why i have stopped blogging for such a long time. Maybe next post =) till then....

Me and My recent LIFE =)

Finally Faculty night is over and with that officially ends all my activities other than academic study =) *weee...in super happy mood which im still blogging at 3am in the morning* anyway, just some add-ons, everyone seems to enjoy fac night so a big clap to the committees *clap...clap...clap...* and its really nice to work out with u guys =)

But that doesn't mean im free now, have to catch up with classes i've missed out, mid sems, lab reports, assignments/projects and also time to spend with friends ^^

Just a list of what i've done this half semester:
1) train debate juniors
2) being DCA (deputy chief adjudicator) for Vice-Canselor inter-college debate competition
3) 1 of the adjudicator for VC cup final
4) perform for New Tune Introduction Night
5) Organise Faculty night and also MC of the night

and again, i put myself in another mess...the same old history repeats like last sem, i put myself into this hectic life and hence the consequences to bare.....

MY RESULT FOR MID SEMS SUCKX!
(ok, i didn't meant to say bad words but it just a kind of release of depression, do bare with me since i can't find another words that suits more...*in blurry mind state*)

hopefully i still can cover back the marks with final...*worrying*
(*praying that final questions will not be tough*)

ok, just some words to pour out and now i should back to my work (with 4 reports, 1 assignment, 2 projects to hand up in this week)

~tataz~

.....*continue my "lab-reporting"*......

The forgottenS...

People grown up everyday and they'll then tend of forget things they've learned and which is actually applicable in nowadays life.

1)Satisfaction
Make an example: kids love sweets and everytime they get one, they'll be happy for the whole day and yet grown ups never satisfied for what they have. someone who had iphone will wanted a Blackberry, someone who had Honda will wanted Ferrari and hence life always seems to be imperfect as the standard of being perfect is always set higher and higher.

2) Aggresive
Example 2: Kids were actually more aggresive. i always remember i cried alot until i get what i want (a toy or chocolates). but when i grow up, i always concern about how people look at me and hence i hesitate in making decisions. As result, things never been done and when i looked back, i realise i missed out alot of fun and chances/oppurtunity that i never grab onto.

3)Being Real
Example 3: kids laugh alot and they cried alot too. They always show out their true expression which grown ups don't. They're being hiprocrit which they blame it to people around them and claim that its the only way to survive in the society. and i wonder, aren't any of these are inform choices? We're humans and we control our own emotions don't we?

Sometimes i get confuse with life, how i wish im still the little kid i used to be, naive and always optimistic with life but yet things changed and i wonder should i change myself to suit the so called "society life" or should i just remain who i am and yet satisfied with life?

Prayer

How is it feels like when your love ones struggled and suffered and yet nothing can be done to help?



its so painful that u felt like crying but tears just couldn't seems to roll down because you know you'll will make the one feel more miserable



trying to tell jokes to make the one feel better but yet it feels like someone was using a knife stabbing into your heart with yourself holding your breath, worrying you'll burst out in tears in the next second



its so helpless that you start to thinking of running away and yet you can't even move a step



sometimes i wonder, why its me and why its her?



but i know god let things happen for a reason



i never ask god for more but for this first and only time, i wish god will take away all the pain and sickness from her...



and i have no other way but to believe in "him" as he's the way, the truth and the life



in jesus name i pray, Amen




*anyone who read this and know what happened, please pray for us

It Just Happen...

time: midnight
location: msn chatroom
mode: in the midst of sleepless and emo-ing...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lemon: How are you?

BeL: Fine...

Lemon: How's exam?

BeL: 3 more to go...blah....blah...

Lemon:......??

BeL: blah...blah...blah...(something about why im emo-ing at the mid of night)

Lemon: huh?

BeL: it's hard to tell...

Lemon: and why u choose to tell me?

BeL: sure lahhh, buddy mah...

Lemon: .......

BeL: hey, u're acting weird today lehhhh....

Lemon: o0yar, how's between you and "him"?

BeL: how u know? *gasping on my own* i didnt tell u that? *hmm...did i?*

Lemon: we're in the same kok what?!

BeL: *check for the mail address* *ARGH!! SCREAMING AND YELLING SILENTLY!!*


guess what happened? yes...it's not the person i thought it was...argh...stupid me, i even shared my deepest emoness to "him" which i suppose to be another "him" >< i know its confused, either i am...


moral value of story: always check the mail address before u chat with someone to double check the identification...


*****************************the end********************************

Reasons Why i Never Have a BF ><"

The question i frequently get recently would be:

"Do You Have A bf?"

And as a companion for the answer "NO", or "Never have one"

"WHY?"

Ya rght, i wish i could know why *wondering...hmm...*

but anyway, i just sort of like list out some reasons why i never have a bf, or why guys at the first place wouldn't even fall into me.


1) my height, actually im not that tall, maybe slightly tall, 170cm wasn't that tall afterall, right? agree? (i know my friends who's reading this now would be probably diasgreeing, sigh
><) anyway, guys used to said, isabel, its presurrised by just standing next to you, or things like, yeah, im TALLER than isabel ><

2) My boysih hairstyle, another fact of isabel, she's always been in short hair since she's born. Don't ask me why, it actually start off when my parents have their 1st born daughter (which is me) and to save off unnecessary trouble, keep my hair short is just perfect. When i was in primary school, long hair is not allowed in school. and now, im just so used with my short hair which i really love them so much but bet guys would most probably like girls with long hair

3) Independent, isabel's all time theory--why girls cant do things guys can, and i always argue this with my guys friend and they would just pissed off after a long "debate" and would said, can't u be just more "girl" like how u should have? >< discrimination k? guys egoness =P

4) "CHUMAN", now that's a new word, haha...its actually a name of our friend (chuman-dev) which they later translate it as "reaction as slow as a pig"? WT...anyway, why i would said so? let's see the difference between a guy's conversation with a girl and isabel:

guy: are you hungry? (which they actually means having a lunch date ><, guys, be straight forward la~)

normal girl: no, im starving, if its your treat, i wouldn't mind us having a lunch together ^^ (with a sweet shy glimpse)

isabel: no, i've just ate, arent u eaten? i can recommend u some nice eatery shops =)


There's actually more to be written of but im sort of tired today, after late night study until 1am which i woke up early this morning at 7am for my eletric and magnet exam n later whole day discussion on TITAS with my coursemates (=.=) anyway, i might continue this on "Reasons why i never have a BF-part 2" whenever im free =P till then ^^